Unfortunately, love sometimes passes, and the contradictions in a couple, as divorce lawyers say, become irreconcilable. Many quickly recover after a breakup and start dating, but what if the emotional trauma is too deep?
Many people have to go through a break in relations. And one cannot do without disappointment, pain, and resentment. There are a few rules to keep in mind when breaking up painfully.
Express your emotions
When to start dating after a breakup? How to get over a breakup? Do not try to mask the pain and resentment after the breakup, cry. Many psychologists recommend creating a whole ritual for this to sit on the floor in the center of an empty room and cry sobbing for a couple of hours. The urge to whimper all day after that should be gone. Experts in TV programs also recommend getting rid of the former lover’s personal belongings in the house. But don’t throw away your partner’s stuff; just remove them from a prominent place. Exercising in the gym will be an excellent option for dumping negative emotions, dancing will cheer up, and boxing will help throw out negativity.
After a breakup, you shouldn’t rush out on dates. You need time to relive the accumulated emotions.
Take care of yourself
Suppose before you literally could not imagine life without a partner. Then after a breakup, you will certainly experience a feeling of emptiness, but you should not run out of dates to fill the confusion. With whom to spend evenings now, why prepare breakfast, why go shopping and plan a vacation, and how to start a new life? Instead of pair entertainment, we advise you to take care of yourself. Learn a new hobby that you never had time for before. For example, Jennifer Aniston experienced a breakup with Brad Pitt through yoga. Morality is easy to guess; it is more effective to concentrate on self-development and strive forward than to stay put.
Do sports, be on the move
No wonder they say that movement is life. As much as you want to spend all your days in bed, force yourself to get out of the house for walks or even jogging. It won’t be easy at first, but a positive result will affect both the emotional background and the physical form over time.
If you are still asking yourself when to start dating again, then give yourself time. After a difficult breakup, time must pass before dating.
Moreover, do not overuse cigarettes and alcohol; it is proven that such an unhealthy outlet ultimately exacerbates the condition and provokes feelings of guilt. Moreover, you run the risk of committing acts that you may regret when drunk.
Make plans for the future
A guilt complex often accompanies a breakup. Indeed you also think that you could be more accommodating in a relationship, look better, speak less harshly. If there really were mistakes, let them help to learn lessons for the future, but not become a reason for self-flagellation. Instead of regretting the past, start keeping a journal and write down your most cherished personal goals for the next month, year, and five years, and then list the small steps that will lead you to them. Think about what you can do for your happiness today and how to date after a breakup?
When to start dating again? 6 things you shouldn’t do after breaking up
You feel confused, and that’s okay when a long relationship ends. Your future plans and life have just changed, and now it is not clear what to do next. Do you ask yourself a lot of questions about when to start dating again? Will the new relationship be better than the previous one? How to live on, and can you trust people? The main thing is not to rush and give yourself time to experience all the emotions. Here are some tips on what not to do when a long relationship ends on a bad note.
Contain your emotions
It can be challenging to recover and get rid of depressing thoughts after a breakup, the more difficult it is to go on dates and start new relationships. Give yourself time to return to your old life. It can be useful to feel sad and reflective, but only if it does not drag on for a long time. Spend a couple of days alone with yourself and with your thoughts, and then begin to get out of this oppressive state and get rid of the negativity. If you block bad emotions from the very beginning, then over time, they will catch up with you and make themselves felt.
Don’t ask for support
For some, parting is easy, while some cannot forget and let go of the past for a long time. If you consider yourself to be in the second category of people, then do not be afraid to ask for help. Feel like you can’t handle it on your own? Call your friends, family, try to see loved ones more often, and do not worry that someone might think something wrong about you. If the help of loved ones is not enough for you, then think about finding a specialist. A psychologist will help you survive a painful separation without consequences for the nervous system and health. And remember that asking for help is not a shame.
Start a new relationship
When a long and strong relationship ends, it can be hard to come to terms with the idea that no one is near you now. The feeling of loneliness and loss can push you to reckless actions. When to start dating again? Try to think sensibly and not immediately look for another partner. Give yourself time to come to your senses, think about what you need most now, what you really want. And only then open up for the next stage of life. Take some time for yourself, and then the period after the breakup will be less painful.
Take revenge
You seemed to have a perfect relationship. But now you are convinced that your partner was unworthy, behaved incorrectly, and in general, how could you spend so much time on such an ignoble person? All these thoughts lead to an irresistible desire to take revenge, hurt, and remind you of your pride. You need to stop yourself from making a gross mistake at this moment. You make yourself worse in the first place by selecting revenge. Firstly, this way, you intensify your emotions and plunge even more into a negative state. Secondly, what you do out of revenge can be greatly regretted. Time will pass, and you will let go of the situation, and the deed cannot be returned.
Closing yourself off
It’s okay to give yourself time to cry and be sad, but it’s not a great idea to dive into this state for weeks or months. Spend some time alone with yourself, and then start seeing friends and family more often. This way, you will gradually relieve negative emotions and leave them in the past. You do not allow yourself to move on and live a full, fulfilling life by closing yourself off. As difficult as it is, get out of the house and interact with people.
Get rid of gifts and photos
After a painful breakup, the first desire is to get rid of everything that reminds of the person forever. But do not rush to immediately throw away his gifts and delete photos from the phone. The first acute emotions will pass over time, and then you will want to remember the time spent with your once loved one. You will not erase the former from the past by throwing all the memorabilia out of your life.
The main thing to remember when breaking up a long relationship is that it’s not the end of the world. You will find another person who will bring a lot of positive emotions. Mistakes in life do happen, and it’s essential to take them as experiences and not as wasted time. Try to remember the positive moments, even if you did not manage to part beautifully, and do not focus on the negative and pain.