It is generally accepted that toxic relationships are those in which the partner ignores your desires and needs and tries to change you. But in reality, this is just one of the options for an unhealthy relationship. Most often, the partner does not even suspect that he is behaving toxic and you live for years without noticing what exactly is destroying your love. Moreover, you may not notice the mistakes you make and repeat them even in a new relationship.
What patterns of female behavior inevitably lead to the destruction of love? Let’s figure it out together with matchmaker Canada.
Women’s habit of being silent
Any relationship, even the best one, becomes toxic and quickly comes to a standstill when partners do not know how to express their emotions and feelings. Classic situation: “What happened?” – “Nothing!” A woman is waiting for a man to guess what she wants him to do or say at the moment. Instead of being open in a relationship with her man, the woman is silent and offended. For example, when a partner does not call for two days, many women continue to pretend that everything is in order and do not say “I was worried,” “I was unpleasant,” or “I do not understand why you disappeared for so long.”
Why is this wrong behavior?
This behavior is misleading to the partner. Unfortunately, most women do this with entirely different statuses, ages, experiences, and upbringing. Silence creates an entirely different picture in a man’s head. “I haven’t called for two days, nothing has changed, everything is fine”, so I can continue to do so. This is why relationships become toxic. A woman hints or is silent; a man interprets this hint poorly or does not react. In 90% of cases out of 100, this is not male laziness, not dislike, and in no way pride. It’s just that men don’t take hints. As a result, the woman feels unappreciated. She accumulates resentment, and the man gets tired, and as a result, they gradually begin to move away from each other.
What is the best way to handle such situations?
Talk about your emotions. Without hints and games, learn to express your feelings and as concretely as possible because this is the main guideline for your partner to behave in the future. Even the most beautiful woman needs compliments, and it is important for her to feel her worth for a partner. But few of us know how to talk about it openly. Many women think that telling your man a phrase like “I’m happy you called, I have been waiting for this all day” or “I was very upset that you didn’t call for so long,” they thereby lose their exclusiveness in his eyes. Thus, a man understands that he is important to you. He will do everything to please you more often. Try to get this tradition of talking about your emotions into your relationship. Otherwise, with the development of relations, misunderstanding will only increase.
Constantly adapt in relationships
Another mistake that concerns communication in a couple is when you try to solve it here and now when faced with a problem, being angry and not thinking about the situation correctly, which you often regret later. Even worse is giving in and continually adjusting, trying to smooth out conflicts, and thereby adopting the position of a catch-up in the relationship.
A weak position in a relationship will sooner or later lead to discontent, and the relationship will become toxic.
Why is this wrong behavior?
Throwing ultimatums at a partner, such as “I will leave the relationship” or “I will not give you money”. The partner needs to realize his inner dissatisfaction. Therefore, if a woman denies herself her desires and interests for the sake of male whims, this is the first step towards a dependent relationship. What is a toxic relationship in this situation?
What is the best way to handle such situations?
A healthy relationship is when both partners go towards one common goal, respecting each other’s personal space. Therefore, take a break of at least two to three days to think about a quarrel. A little later, come back to the question again when the emotions subside. But at the moment of a conflict situation, the correct reaction would be, “let you think, and I will think too.” And, as a rule, options are found. When a man and a woman strive for a compromise – not to prove which of them is right or smarter, but to find a solution to the problem – they have already won. But if you hear an unequivocal “no,” then in no case should you follow this lead; this is the first sign of a toxic relationship.
Jealousy and jealousy provocation
Women have developed intuition in the same way as men have polygamy. There is probably no such woman, regardless of status and age, who did not get into the phone or mail of her man to check if he was cheating on her. But it is much worse than women are afraid to openly talk about their feelings and, possibly, lose relationships. Instead of talking openly, many begin to prove to their partner their worth and that other men may be interested in you too.
Why is this wrong behavior?
On the one hand, jealousy is the most painful condition in which both women and men can often behave inappropriately. And in certain cases, it can reach obsession, and here the consequences can already be the most unpleasant. On the other hand, provoking jealous situations, even if you have no one and bought flowers for yourself or new earrings, is always fraught with consequences. So you poison your relationship and distance yourself further from each other. Indeed, there is a category of men that manifests itself very well in a competitive spirit. Still, it is always unprofitable to specifically point out an existing or non-existent rival because a man will certainly take advantage of this at some point. Provoking jealousy is one of the hallmarks of a toxic relationship.
What is the best way to handle such situations?
If a man gave a reason to pay attention to another girl, paid her a compliment, then you need to be jealous at this moment. Tell him that you are not pleased when he looks at other women, and you do not need to admire other women in your presence. The mistake of the majority is that they remember this in the morning or a week. A man will always say that it was not at all so, and you invented everything. Then you need to say: “I feel that you are interested in another woman. These thoughts do not leave my head.” If the partner does not respond, you need to break the usual picture to give a distance, not to be so accessible and prohibitively good, to want to be a male with another woman. Perhaps your problem is trite that you have stopped monitoring your weight or have not changed your hairstyle for five years. A woman should never give up her attractiveness, even at 70. Here we are not talking about provocation, but about the fact that you should not turn off female attractiveness for other men. Demonstratively discussing with a partner another man with whom everyone just drank coffee at lunch is fundamentally wrong, and it always looks artificial. But if you do not give up the vision of men’s insight, this is your feeling when others are interested in you, which adds self-confidence to your man instantly.
Total control position
Another extreme in relationships is when a woman completely takes the relationship under her wing and plays a mother’s role. It also includes all sorts of reproaches and moralizing. The woman tries to convey to the man that he does not correspond to her ideas, constantly repeating statements such as “I knew it,” “how much is possible?”, “When will you make a decision?” etc. It is one of the indicators of toxic relationships.
Why is this wrong behavior?
What is happiness? Imagine you have a match. The man brought you sulfur, and you ignited your happiness. Both separately are also happiness, but when they are together, it is even better. When a woman begins to play the role of a mother, and even constantly teaching and educating, such relationships very quickly come to a standstill. A man starts to either cheat or leave the relationship.
What is the best way to handle such situations?
It only seems to you that you can control everything. And in fact, this is the same mistake when women do not allow a man to be held responsible for his actions. You need to stop being a control maniac and look for a way out of this state through pleasure. It doesn’t matter in what area you are dancing, or enjoying the process of embroidery, or working. It is essential to find somewhere you’re high, which you get in control of the relationship.
To avoid mistakes and get off the toxic relationships, a woman must engage in self-development.
- Physical (when you take care of your health and beauty).
- Emotional (when you are in harmony with yourself and are responsible for your life).
- Intellectual (you know what you want. Be sure to sit down at least once a week and think about what you want, what you lack, what needs to be changed, what to learn, etc.).
- Social (this is the part of your life that includes your friends, interests, work).
Only when you develop in all of these directions at the same time you can feel truly happy and share this state with your partner, perhaps having already met a new single man who’s more of a match for you.. Otherwise, you can provoke toxicity in the relationship.
Read also:
How To Start A New Life After A Breakup And Start Dating Again?